The Witch and The Villager
by californiatart
Summary: In a night of a full moon, a villager happened to stumble upon a cute green eyed witch who uses the… oddest of method to summon a demon.


_**Warning**_: Late night pointless, smut-ish (?) oneshot fanfic with no plot whatsoever. Just pure randomness and crack, maybe if you look really close with a microscope.

_**Pairing**_: Villager!Alfred x Witch!Arthur

_**Disclaimer**_: Hetalia belongs to the wonderful Hidekaz Himaruya.

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_**The Witch and The Villager**_

Under the darkest of night, the grayest of moon, the bluest of clouds, there stood a boy with his book in the middle of a secluded forest. He wore a simple black cloak to protect his body from this cold night. There is a broom next to him. He had been drawing a summoning board on top of the ground for the past hour or so. With circles and stars and dots, this board looked exactly like the drawing in one of the pages in the book in his left hand. When he heard the flapping of wings from a bat, he looked up under his hat, and admired the beautiful animal passing by. Under the brightest of stars' light, his eyes are the greenest of greens, hair are blondest of blondes, and whitest of white skins. After a while, he looks down and continued on where he left off on the board that he drew.

The book in his left hand is one of the items he had bought from a shop in France earlier this month. He had not had a chance of naught to try out some of the spells in this book. This night is a perfect night because there happens to be a full moon night. Once there is a full moon, it is very easy for him to cast a summoning on a demon.

The boy smiled at his handy work as his board is finish at long last. He stood up and finishes the last paragraph in the page that he had been reading his past hour.

"_In order to give life; one must use their own life energy..." _The boy raises his eyebrows at a particular sentence.

_'What the bloody hell is this crap' _He thought to himself.

_Life energy… life energy… life energy…_ The boy pondered to himself for a moment and then hastily came to an abrupt conclusion. His twin cheeks blush a crimson red as he had understood what the sentence implied.

"… Oh well, I needed a release from stress anyway." He reasoned to himself, persuading him to finish this cast because all the time he had spent on the summoning board will be for nothing. _He signed_. If his friends were to see what he is about to do for a spell that might not worked at all, he would be their laughing stock for the rest of his life.

The boy shrugs. Well, nobody is here... And the people in the village not too far away from here are too afraid of the rumors to be around here at night anyway.

The boy begins to undress out of his black cloak. From under, he had on some dress shirt and loose pants, which were also, remove for… practical purposes. He takes in a deep breath and begins stroking himself slowly, teasingly so. He groans, almost a purr as a particular good spot caressed by his skilled hand. He could feel his soft member sprung to hardness in mere seconds sunder such demonstration.

"Hnn…!" A soft sound manages to escape his lips. _It feels good_. He continued on stroking himself quietly under the forest floor until his releases for his spell to activate. Once his spell is completed, a demon will bear from the summoning board, and then he will forget all of this ever happened in the first place. And then he will live on happily ever after. The end.

But.

For some reason, he could not reach his climax. With a hard on and everything.

_… What the…?_

Maybe he should relax a little. Or stuffed something into his butt, or something? Humans are always touching themselves or rutting with a partner on their beds… so, his case is a little different, maybe?

And so, he sat down again, on top of his cloak this time. He takes the broom next to him and proceeds to position the rounded end of it against the opening of his butthole. As about an inch of it slowly invading his hole, he snapped out of his crazed trance and throws the broom away. Felling strange and dirty and degenerate, he begin to throw a small hissy fit at himself.

_Rushes_.

The boy stops. He hear rushes; the rustling sounds of moving leaves. And the wind smells like a human.

Crap.

_Damn it._

The boy looked over to his shoulders. _He had been discovered_. As the figure behind the bushes realizes that he had been caught peeping, he stood up and ready for a quickie to a safe spot away from the boy he had been watching. But before his magical escape to nirvana, the green eyed boy raises his right hand; stopping the intruder from making another step. With a couple of mumbled words under the boy's breath, he levitated the intruder towards him and into the moon's light where his figure could seen.

It was a human male. Probably from the village nearby. Probably looking for a good spot to masturbate at this time of night. Probably looking for arousing materials to spy on for a quick release. Probably had animal fetish. And the boy is probably the material he is looking for. What a sick bastard.

The boy snickered. He place an imaginary rope over the intruder as his levitated body is then place on his knees.

"You were watching me." The boy started; his lips thin and white.

"I did not." The human argued

"Yes you did." The boy stated calmly and dangerously low.

Before the villager retort back, he continues, "Did you see everything?"

The villager faltered and stutters, "Well… not exactly, I mean, kind of… I mean, I sort of see it… but not under this dim of a light…"

"In human years, I am only 15 years old. You know, you could be considered a child molester and be branched, or drowned, or stoned to death by your fellow villagers." The angry boy fumed, his green eyes are clearly annoyed by the villager's intrusion in the middle of his incantation. His members are now as soft as a woman's breasts.

"S-sorry…! It's just that you were so cute that I…!" The villager reasoned.

"Calm your hormones, human, I was just stating the obvious. Besides, normal mortals cannot see me anyway, unless, of course, if I wanted them to." The boy looked down at his fingernails, already not invested in the villager's explanation.

The villager did not say anything about the weird drawing the boy drew or the things he did so far. But, rather, he looked like he had been running out of breath from marathon a race or two. Needless to say, his eyes looked mesmerized, as if in a trance at the sight before him, like he is already bewitched under the boy's nothing spell. Now that he mentioned it, the boy looked down at his own body and recognized the fact that he is still, in fact, fully nude and exposed to the villager kneeling afore his feet. Even though he is a male and are much older than his looks, the boy still flushed a pink color under the villager's intense gaze. Their eyes met.

All of the sudden, the boy's body is on fire, a pit of larva is boiling inside his stomach. He swears he could see the white mist of exhale he is exhibiting now before the villager. His member slowly brought back to life simply by the boy's eye contact with the villager.

"I can help you with that." The villager definite, glancing boy's hardened member.

As if the boy could sense the villager's desire, he could feel the cold air around him gradually morphed into a torrent of burning ashes. The larva inside of the boy's stomach started to burnt and disintegrates his train of rational thoughts. He takes the villager's suggestion into consideration, and after a while, he nods.

"Alright. But I will be the one in control, you got that?" The boy indicated, pushing his blonde locks back.

"Sure thing." The villager breathed heavily, his thoughts overcrowded. "But first, can you untie me, please?"

"No." The boy answered. "I'm in control; you did agreed to it after all."

So, then, the boy did what he had said to the villager, as stated directly by his words. Neither worrying nor caring about the well-being of the villager as he pushes the man to lay down on top of the ground, tied to an invisible rope banded by the boy himself. But, of course, since the boy is a considerable person, taught by his very own parents, that is to please his partner regardless of the circumstances; and sure thing, he did try to put in some foreplay here and there. Pleasing the villager is harder than the boy had first anticipated; it is very hard to find his good spots since he is quite the silent type. He only softy groan when a particular point on his body is stroked or touched a certain way. This is quite a work out for the boy. _Ah_. The villager did moan there; the spot under his nipple. _The clothes are bothering him_. The boy snaps his fingers, and in an instant, the villager's clothes are undone away from his body. The village does not seem to care at all as the boy goes further south, from his chest down.

"Can you put on that hat?" The villager requested after a while of the boy exploring his upper body, eyeing the hat the boy wore earlier before undressing himself nude.

"… What? You sure had some weird fetishes, human. It is a good thing that I am not a woman or you might lose a good catch." The boy's head jumps a bit at the villager's odd invitation but comply nonetheless by placing the hat on top of his head. He is a thoughtful partner, after all, and he needs to take responsible for his human bitch.

"Alfred." The villager said.

"Come again?" The boy asked, the hat on his head tilted to the side.

The villager laughs softly, "My name is Alfred Jones." His eyes comes into contact with the boy's green ones, "And you?"

"That's weird. No mortals, alive or not, had not asked for my name before… You are one strange human." The boy mused aloud, strangling the villager's hips.

He simply goes on, "For your inquiry, I go by many names, but my clan calls me Arthur Kirkland."

"Arthur." The villager repeated sensitively. "That's a cute name."

"Of course." The boy agrees wholeheartedly, feeding his own ego.

"Yes." The villager laughs again. "You are so cute."

As soon as his laugh fades, the villager turn his head toward the boy on top of him, "Can I kiss you?"

"What? Everyone knows that kissing another shall result in one's own demise. I am not stupid, human." The boy countered, his eyebrows hunched together sheepishly.

"But that is in your culture, not mine." The villager's stomach puffed up as if he wanted to snap a chuckle or two.

"Huh? What possible could kissing mean for humans then?" The boy questioned, somewhat interested.

"Not telling." The villager replied with a sly grin. He licks his lips, "Why don't you try to find out yourself?"

"No." The boy immediately returned.

"Haha… are you scare?" The villager teased. "It is just something humans do when they wanted their partner to feel good before uniting their bodies as one."

"No." He responded. "We don't do such a thing before we mate."

"Then try it, it is not going to kill you, I promise." The villager urged.

The boy takes some time to think to himself. Then, after a while, he dips his head down and mouth comes in contact with the villager. Their mouth jointed in a simple kiss. As the boy retreats his lips, the villager's lips came up and captured his mouth again for a second kiss. This time, more heated and more demanding. The villager's tongue forges the boy's mouth to parts its way for him to explore his tavern. Whilst he tastes him, the boy did little to nothing to counter his exploration _well_, he did put in some effort to mimic him, but this is too much work.

After their kiss ended, in other words, the boy needed some air, the villager simply states when their lips parted away, "Sweet."

"How was it?" The villager queried the boy.

"It feels weird. Kind of good, but still weird. You humans are such strange creatures; inventing such a deadly thing into your mating ritual." The boy proclaimed loudly.

"Do you dislike it?" The villager probed.

"… No." The boy replied.

The villager laughs, "Well, if you asked me, you are the strange one here..."

… So, in the end… how did they even get here? The forest was quite quiet a few second ago with little to no noises from an animal or two or three. And now, it was filled with lewd sounds, gasping, grunts, and unclean, flirty words from the boy and the villager.

A brash squeaky moan, _"Hnn…! Yes! … Yes…! That feels so good…! More!"_

_"Ha…! You are one dirty little boy."_ A deep voice of a male supposed clearly out loud for all to hear.

At first, the boy was in control, he was so sure of it, he was on top of the villager, and he was invisible; he makes the villager begs like a bitch that he is… But… what happens? How did the villager manage to put him on all fours while being tied by the invisible rope he put on him? How did he manage to makes him screaming and gasping for the next breath of air as his body is roughly penetrated from behind? How did he manage to make him begs for more? And, more importantly, how did he manage to flips the boy over, riding atop of him like horseman? Is the villager a magician or something? Did he practice dark art before? And more importantly, is he the villager's next experiment? The boy grew impatient, irritated, and livid. Who the hell do you think you… _oh shit_…

"Uhm… so good… I'm coming…!" The boy panted out aloud desperately, his own voice, hoarse and lacking in breath. The air smells like slicks of sweat. His opening is scorching red from all of the thrusts and prods from the villager.

With one last grind, the boy shoots his release all over the summoning board he drew earlier. His face lifts up as soon as his seeds touch the white paint. He expects a demon to come out anytime now.

The demon will be here at any given moment.

At any seconds, the demon will appears.

Like right now, is good.

But.

Nothing happens.

_What the hell…?_

Without removing himself from the villager, the boy lifts up the book next to them and goes over the spell one more time, "That's weird. I though this incantation needed life energy…?"

At the very bottom of the page; in tiny, little, thin wiggly letters, it reads:

_… From a human._

God. Fucking. Damn. It.

The boy grinds his teeth together; so loud his ears can hear them wining, "Hey, human, you want to do it again?" His patient is as thin as a sheet of paper right now. He dislike obstacles, he hated challenges, he loathe the idea of being wrong.

"Uhh…" The villager muttered softly, confused, but his body is already on board for another round after the boy's suggestion. He cannot help but says out loud as the boy unknowingly contracted his skin against his flesh, "Damn."

"Shh. Just relax and enjoy." The boy put a finger against the villager's started mouth. He stood up and mumbles under his breath. "I'm bored, already."

_"… Now, where is that broom…"_

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_**Author's Note**_: Haha, so did you guys love this? This fanfic here is a celebration of me quitting my shitty job and full-filling my long lost inner fan-girl's desire. Happy-my-gift-to-the-beautiful-world-of-fanfic-as-I-quit-my-job present! :)


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